Wednesday, 5 January 2011

Happy Birthday to me!

First off - it's fine, I didn't REALLY expect a flood of emails (would've been nice...) so don't feel bad for forgetting.

EDIT: Just so we're clear - THIS is a song that sums up the emotion going on...I'm not depressed.  :)

It's a very strange feeling, this birthday.  I'm twenty-five...that's significant.  A quarter of a Century, and a third of my life-expectancy, already gone.  Under the belt, so to speak...though you couldn't tell to look at my figure! Dude! You sound like Brent, what are you doing?!?

There are a lot of things in my life I am yet to achieve, or I feel I should/would like to achieve.  I've still not written a whole episode for the sitcom I'm supposedly writing, mostly because I'm easily...that things where you...stop...and because when I return to the stuff I leave half-done I feel either disheartened, or (overly?) critical and bin it.

I haven't left the British Isles, like, ever, and it doesn't look imminent, despite my firm conviction last year that I wanted to partake of the 2011 ETC and maybe NoVa Open, if it were possible.

I've never killed a man in cold-blood, and shot my load onto a hooker in the middle of the street...wait, no...something's wrong there...(I used to enjoy being on the FTW BlogRoll, but I honestly wonder if I will ever again have a frontpage Ron would be happy to link to... :( It's a shame, but I still heartily endorse his PG-rated content, as the guy does phenomenal work and created THE premier Blog Network (sorry House of Paincakes!)

I've not written a Guest Article for anywhere, despite more than a few offers - and a couple of false starts on that very thing.

I've never finished painting an army (are they EVER finished?) and I've never finished my Complete Guide To The Eldar.  I've never run a Tournament, and I've never properly had a pet of my own.

But it isn't all negative - it's just a good time for reflection.  There are many, many positive things I can think of [a lot I won't be telling the internet about! ;-) ] and I still have 2/3 of my life to achieve them.  I'm moving house, starting Friday (when I get the keys) and, while that won't be the cut and dried swift stress-free affair I'd love, it is manageable.

I have a great number of e-friends I have made through this blogging lark, and, to a (slightly) lesser extent through Heresy Online and inferior forums (no offence LO - you were the first to wish me Happy Birthday, [automated emails FTW!] which made me feel guilty for me absenteeism.)  I choose not to try and name you all, because you all deserve links, and spamming links is fucking annoying to read sometimes.  You know who you are...and if you aren't sure, then it's probably you too.

My new house will, for the first time, be able to have a dedicated battle board.  This is HUGE for me, as it will allow me to shoot videos of deployments at 4am when Chatbawks is rowdy, and tiredness is a phase I'm getting over.   In addition, I may attempt a few Video BatReps for the first time (not really first, but I don't think any of you know about those...*AHEM*) and get those up with my awesome new £25 digital camera.  Nah, it's shit, but for BatReps, it may do.  Hard to argue with £25 for a video camera.  It's less than a Predator.

Speaking of Predators - I have the best and largest collection of models I have ever had, and may finally finish enough armies that I can post photos of them!  That would be nice.  My blog is more popular than ever (somehow...) and I've been banned permanently from Warseer.

I've won the Ugandan lottery, and someone from France wishes to be my wife! [Genuine email content - Je suis attirée par ton profite et souhaiterais nouer une relation sérieuse pouvant aboutir au mariage avec vous. J'aime les enfants et aimerais fonder un foyer sur les bases de l'honnêteté, la sincérité, la fidélité et le respect de l'autre. Si vous n'êtes pas partant pour le mariage et ces précieuses valeurs qui pour moi sont des piliers fondamentaux d'une bonne relation sentimentale, eh bien ne perdez pas votre temps. tout le plaisir sera pour moi de te rencontrer afin de mieux partager ce point commun et vivre mieux cet amour que nous recherchons . Peu importe ta couleur , ta race , ton statut , seul le don de ton cœur me suffira. j’espère avoir de tes nouvelles ]

Life is good.

Or, at least, okay.

Okay is better, in a way - less distance to fall when it goes to shit.

Regardless, you want to know how my Chaos Homebrews are coming, don't you?  Well, I've been a busy bee. (Not a busty bee, like Katie Drake! ...Please don't hurt me!)

Apart from the Beastmen that you likely know about, I have posted rules for Berzerkers and regular Renegades, and have written Cultists, Spawn, Huron Blackheart, Plague Marines, Noise Marines and Rubric Marines too - and it is this last that I present as my 'Unbirthday' Present to the Internets.

Thousand Sons have always been my favourite Traitor Legion, despite my couple thousand points of Death Guard.  There was a fluff piece in one of the 2e books (I THINK it was the Rulebook, or maybe Wargear.  Pretty sure it wasn't the Codex Imperialis) talking about shortly after the Heresy when the TSons had returned to Prospero to reclaim and remove it to the Eye of Terror.

It was garrisoned by Ultramarines (of course!) and the main character of the piece (can't have been more than a page?) strangled one with a tentacle, bemoaned the ongoing and rapid mutation of his Legion, and described an incredibly detailed process by which he cherry-picked his memories.

Apart from their other fluff, before and since, this has always stood out as an iconic piece for me - whether it was the undercurrent of sorrow and shame, the regret that they were fighting for Chaos instead of still with the Emperor, or the compartmentalisation of the brain like that, that appealed to me most, I can never know.  they were always the most tragic of the Legions, and I think that is the main selling point...but I can't be sure.  Seventeen years have passed, and *I* don't have total recall.

The point is, I hate their current incarnation because it reduces them to less than the Dust they are.  They are useless - and it makes me sad.  This is MY version.

Thousand Sons Rubric Marines - 50 points. [TROOPS]

Rubric Marine : WS4 BS4 S4 T4 W2 I2 A1 Ld10 Sv3+/3++
Master Sorceror : WS5 BS5 S4 T4 W2 I5 A3 Ld10 Sv3+/3++

Unit Composition: 3 Rubric Marines

Wargear: Rubric Marine - Boltgun, Power Armour, Inferno Bolts, Mark of Tzeentch [in profile]
              Master Sorceror - Bolt pistol, Power Armour, Force Weapon, Inferno Bolts, Mark of Tzeentch [in profile]

Special Rules: 
Rubric Marines - Slow and Purposeful, Fearless
Master Sorceror - Psyker, Son of Magnus, Magickal Ward

Dedicated Transport: Rhino [+35 points] Chaos Land Raider [+215 points]

You may add up to 6 Rubric Marines@20pts each
You may add a Master Sorceror to the unit@50pts
The Master Sorceror MUST be equipped with one or more of the following Psychic Powers at the cost below:
Bolt of Tzeentch@15pts ; Gift of Chaos@10pts ; Warp Blast**@10pts ; Flames of Tzeentch@FREE

Inferno Bolts - Shots fired with 'Bolt' weaponry become AP3, and ignore Cover and Invulnerable Saves.
Mark of Tzeentch - Provides the model with a 3+ Invulnerable Save.
Chaos Land Raider - This starts with a Transport of 20, and no sponsons.  Sponsons cost like 25 points-ish.
Magickal Ward - Enemy Psychic Powers that are cast within 6" are negated on a d6 roll of 2+.  The number increases by 1 for every full 6" between the caster and the model with this Rule - eg, a Librarian 24" away will have powers negated upon a 5+.
Bolt of Tzeentch - Range: 36" S8 AP1 Heavy 1
Gift of Chaos - Range 12" Sx AP- Assault 1 - An enemy model hit by this takes a T test, or is removed and replaced by a Chaos Spawn.
Flames of Tzeentch - Range: Template S6 AP4 Assault2
Warp Blast - Range 18" S7 AP3 Assault 1, Melta
Son of Magnus - A model with this rule is permitted to use two Psychic Powers in the same Player Turn - this may include the same power twice (this also overrides the restriction on using only one Psychic Shooting Attack.)

** - I know, I know.  Shit name.  Really needs work, but I couldn't think of anything better...PLEASE suggest stuff.
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