/endlurk

So. This is an 'I'm not dead' post.

It's fair to say that I haven't posted in a rather long time. A prolonged and unfortunate series of events has occurred over the past few months making me somewhat reluctant to do anything to do with wargaming and to concentrate on RL.

Nid thoughts...

I was just on the Northern Wasters Forum, and read a Nid army list the guys are considering for the ETC.
It got me thinking - the only Nid army I've written thus far was a Peek-A-Boo, and I'm pretty sure I never posted it.  (It was shit anyway.  lol)

Anyway, so I just came up with this...

TKE’s What You’re Doing Wrong There

Being a Rant of Sorts, and a Treatise on how you

can improve your game, in several easy steps.

Dark Eldar Players:

‘Uber’ - Retinues. Drazhar costs like 3 Incubi. He has 3 Attacks. THREE, For Fuck’s Sake.

‘Ablative Wound’ Warriors. 8 ponits. No fucking way that is not shit. Shitty stats, shitty gun, inability to do anything in CC…yeah, shit. Srsly, L2P. If a unit costs 300+ points - It better be fucking AwesomeSauce. Archon + Filler is NOT that good.

Night Shields - You are made of PAPER. Most common Anti-Tank in 4th? Assault Cannon/Plasma Gun/Lascannon. You negate two of these at 18” away. 18 measly inches away, and you’re safe. In 5th - Meltagun/Multi-Melta/Autocannon. Again you neuter two of these options. HOW CAN YOU NOT LEARN?!!!!!

Raider Squads - OMFG, put them in their fucking Raider, you spas.

SM Players:

Yes, Devastators will kill most things they shoot. However, MOST enemy armies will be able to SHOOT BACK. T4, 3+ Save =/= Invincible, or even tough. Paying 200+ points for a one-shot weapon with ZERo mobility, unable to Score, taking a Dakka Pred/Vindicator/LRC slot? Not good.

Bike Captains in Bike Squads. Bike Squads are stand-off units, using a combination of mobility (to avoid retribution) and T5 (to shrug off Lasguns etc) - flying into the teeth of the enemy army when one, ONE model can stand up in CC = Stoopid.

Drop Podding SAM Terminators. Really? Lern2Readz.

Committing a squad alone - YES, you are genetically engineered Super-soldiers. BUT, as anyone with any Tactical nous, a basic understanding of mathematics, or any experience with Halo on Legendary difficulty, will tell you, 1unit, however good =/= enemy army. You need back-up in a straight-out fight, simple as that. This is ESPECIALLY true of Assault Squads.

Don’t Outflank with a Storm. Srsly. L2P.

Space Wolf Players:

Lone Wolves aren’t invincible, idiot. Don’t be so goddamn cocky.

Rune Priest + no Invul Save + no unit to take wounds + enemy Vindicator = idiotic move. Being better than the opponent is no excuse for failing at Model Placement re Threat Observation 101.

Necron Players:

Buy more Immortals. Deploy in staggered Rows. Don’t forget Phase Out total. That’s all. You have it hard enough. ;)

Eldar Players:

DON’T ALWAYS BE AGGRESSIVE!! If you outrange the foe, then move back. If you can’t go back, go sideways. If you can get cover, go that way. Just because you CAN move and shoot doesn’t mean a thing. If you can’t get to the target, go around. Don’t fly into his face when you haven’t enough left when it all goes tits up. If you can’t get the kill, then don’t try - do something else. NEVER go Flat Out, ‘just because’.

Nid Players:

If Gaunts have WoN, they can be bunched up safely. It’ll save you time next Dex, when you’re paying 40 points for ten of them…at least until you get those 120 of your 10 point WoN Hormagaunts painted.

IG Players:

Haven’t seen enough of you being stoopid to really criticise like SM, DE etc. That said, Don’t use Missile Launchers! Don’t use Ogyrns! Don’t use Rough Riders! Vendettas ARE your best anti-Tank! Sentinels aren’t even close to worth it!

SM Players 2:

Sniper Scouts are SHIT. Really, really, awful. Take Telion, or don’t bother. Fluff is never an excuse, and, anyway - he goes out on loan every Xmas, like some sort of 41st Millennium David Beckham. Anyway, you think NO OTHER CHAPTER has an EXPERIENCED Scout Sergeant? You thin they’re all chumps? Lern2Imagination.

Okay, I feel better now.

FYI, so you don’t think I’m being unfairly critical here - the arrogant Wolf Lord? That one was me. Even if 5 Devastators actually killing a Lone Wolf before he gets to strike is unlucky enough to Double Facepalm.

Conversion Idea...

An army of Nids, built to look like the Necromorphs from Dead Space. I'm sure it's been done, if anyone has pics to share.

If you haven't played Dead Space, they look like these:

Hormagaunts

Carnifex? Warriors maybe?

Regular Gaunts perhaps...

And similar. Funsies. :)

Hive Tyrants as the Unkillable Hunters...

(All images from Google imageSearch. Property of whoever they belong to.)

TKE's TMWFI

Hi, this is TKE's Take My Word For It, the place I reveal upcoming info/unsubstantiated rumours. Why are they unsubstantiated? Because I never reveal my sources, dumbass! ;)

Suffice it to say, you'll just have to TMWFI - but as far as I know, everything I 'release' in these posts is truth, and is what I'm taking into consideration with regards to future advice etc.

The Dark Eldar Codex was finished, sent out to playtesters, and Regional Managers, and rejected, as simply not being powerful enough. I'd have been of the opinion the whole army using a super-Ambush method of Deployment, and having the capacity to squeeze 3 Agonisors and 3 Flamer-type weapons (Destructors?) per 12-man squad would've been plenty. Especially given even befroe the in-progress revamp JetLock armies had "literally no chance" against them...ho-hum. A DEldar list that auto-rapes Eldar? Nasty. Especially since the source also rates Eldar as the highest of the existing Codicies. In fairness, I don't quite agree with that assessment - and the guy ceratinly agrees with my FoC Saturation theory regarding Phil Kelly's writing. ;)

Next, Tyranids in March? New Gaunts box that reduces them to 10-per? Swarm armies stupidly over-powered, just like NidZilla was last time? Tyranids to actually get a reasonable answer to Mech lists? Well, I've been telling you for months that NidZilla is dead, and when the more detailed info for this Codex starts trickling into your brainboxes, you'll agree.

If you don't agree...L2P. Seriously. ;)

Necrons: Everyone's favourite Terminator look-alikes. Well, the Dex was pretty much done, but they were a bit overpriced. 23 points a Necron Warrior? No way. Fortunately, this has been corrected to most people's satisfaction. Dex pretty much in final stages/already done. I have some more detailed info, but it's a lot more fun for me to wait for the rumour threads to start popping up, and then to debunk things I know aren't true. Suffice it to say, given the relative amount I like Heresy compared to other sites, they'll get stuff first, and more. Anyone who copy/pastes my info, please accredit it accordingly.

To summarise then:

Oder release then: Space Wolves, Tyranids, Necrons, then Dark Eldar who have to wait until 2011, BUT they WILL be out. :)

Look out for the next one in this series, in which I discuss changes to the basic rules mechanics being playtested in the Studio, and pick holes. ;)

Tyranids in Planetstrike part 2.

That is my idea of what would make a good Tyranid Bastion.
Yes, it looks kinda like a flower, that was intentional.

Basically, there's a 'bed' underneath the ground, and that grows the carapace upwards, and grows the flesh with the carapace to make the hollow of the Hive.
The shells make up the walls of the Hive, and protect the flesh and occupants.
Just above the first row of shells, there is another, smaller bed of tissue, this is used as the firing posts, which you could put Warriors or hordes of Gaunts on.
At the very peak, is a rather disproportionate Carnifex torso; this would act as an Interceptor gun.
The small circular sphincter things are just that, sphincter muscles, used as door for access to the building.

After speaking at length with the guy at my FLGS, I discovered that you aren't limited to Autocannon and Lascannon for the Interceptor guns, and decided that a Venom Cannon would make an ample weapon to go on top, with the automated BS of 2 though, making it twin-linked is basically a must, considering its low effectiveness against vehicles (as opposed to the Lascannon).

That Carnifex torso would have tentacles sculpted to his waist, incorporating him into the Hive, and various other small modifications; such as his lower set of limbs being replaced with 'restraining' tentacles, hooking him firmer into the Hive, and allowing a degree of strength in his position, having the thing blown clean off would certainly suck.
As another option for the top turret, to represent Weapon Destroyed results, you could put in place a small 'hatch', like an eyelid, to show that the Carnifex torso has retracted back into the Hive, in order to escape fire and heal itself.


I will do some more later on :)

Tyranids in Planetstrike.

Now, I'm sure I'm not the only one to wonder how you're supposed to excuse 'offensive' races defending in PS, Tyranids are probably the biggest issue in this situation.
Dark Eldar could be, I dunno, farming slaves or something.
Chaos Daemons, it's just a Daemon world, basically.
Tyranids present a problem however.


The only rational explanations I can think of for them defending are:

They're a stranded force, the Hive Fleet flew off without them or got destroyed, and a bunch of Tyranids were left on the planet without a higher chain of command, so they dig into the ground and try to survive. (poor guys)

They're in the process of digesting a world, and the attackers are striking at an important digestion palace or whatever.

A curious behavior of using an unresisting planet as a breeding ground, using the resources up quicker than they could in the Hive Fleet itself, and preparing a large strike on a nearby planet.


Now, all three would use the same sort of terrain; but what terrain is this, you say?

My idea was having underground 'hives', representing Bastions.
Massive chitinous mounds in the ground, with spore chimneys sprouting from the top, and weird tube-tunnels going inside as doors.
Turrets? A Carnifex torso integrated into the structure by huge tentacles and such, holding some nice guns. (Deathspitters for TL AC, Venom Cannon for Lascannon, maybe with some changes)

For defense walls, you could have little rows of the Capillary towers that Forge World do, tiny protrusions from the ground that give your guys cover.
Walls of bodies would work, although might look a little strange.
Woven tentacles, kinda like roots for the Hives.
Stuff like that.

Ultimately though, Imperial stuff with some Tyranid additions would suffice quite nicely, just be sure to have a LOT of Tyranid stuff hanging off them; plant growth, Capillary spine things, spore chimneys, creepy muscle doors, etc.


There would also be good ways to represent stratagems, for example.

The Battlecannon thing (put one on a bunker) could be represented in a similar way to the auto-guns, but this would involve heavier conversion; have a Carnifex with either a massive Bio-Cannon held like normal, or make its torso the weapon.
For the former, beefing out a Barbed-Strangler, or sculpting a larger one would do fine.
For the latter, I was thinking something along the lines of a Bio-Plasma attack; have his arms replaced with tentacle restraints, tying him to the structure; have massive tubes coming out of his back, with appropriately large amounts of squishy stuff on the joins; and have a huge Bio-Plasma mouth, with a dropped jaw, and a sculpted 'nozzle' thing.

Things like Landmines and Las-maze would be fairly simple, have spore mines poking out of the ground, or a little pool of acid, or something.

I don't actually have the book, so I don't know all the stratagems; but I think you get the picture.
Get creative with your models, make them something to look at and love; done right a Tyranid defense outpost would look incredible!