Being a Rant of Sorts, and a Treatise on how you
can improve your game, in several easy steps.
Dark Eldar Players:
‘Uber’ - Retinues. Drazhar costs like 3 Incubi. He has 3 Attacks. THREE, For Fuck’s Sake.
‘Ablative Wound’ Warriors. 8 ponits. No fucking way that is not shit. Shitty stats, shitty gun, inability to do anything in CC…yeah, shit. Srsly, L2P. If a unit costs 300+ points - It better be fucking AwesomeSauce. Archon + Filler is NOT that good.
Night Shields - You are made of PAPER. Most common Anti-Tank in 4th? Assault Cannon/Plasma Gun/Lascannon. You negate two of these at 18” away. 18 measly inches away, and you’re safe. In 5th - Meltagun/Multi-Melta/Autocannon. Again you neuter two of these options. HOW CAN YOU NOT LEARN?!!!!!
Raider Squads - OMFG, put them in their fucking Raider, you spas.
SM Players:
Yes, Devastators will kill most things they shoot. However, MOST enemy armies will be able to SHOOT BACK. T4, 3+ Save =/= Invincible, or even tough. Paying 200+ points for a one-shot weapon with ZERo mobility, unable to Score, taking a Dakka Pred/Vindicator/LRC slot? Not good.
Bike Captains in Bike Squads. Bike Squads are stand-off units, using a combination of mobility (to avoid retribution) and T5 (to shrug off Lasguns etc) - flying into the teeth of the enemy army when one, ONE model can stand up in CC = Stoopid.
Drop Podding SAM Terminators. Really? Lern2Readz.
Committing a squad alone - YES, you are genetically engineered Super-soldiers. BUT, as anyone with any Tactical nous, a basic understanding of mathematics, or any experience with Halo on Legendary difficulty, will tell you, 1unit, however good =/= enemy army. You need back-up in a straight-out fight, simple as that. This is ESPECIALLY true of Assault Squads.
Don’t Outflank with a Storm. Srsly. L2P.
Space Wolf Players:
Lone Wolves aren’t invincible, idiot. Don’t be so goddamn cocky.
Rune Priest + no Invul Save + no unit to take wounds + enemy Vindicator = idiotic move. Being better than the opponent is no excuse for failing at Model Placement re Threat Observation 101.
Necron Players:
Buy more Immortals. Deploy in staggered Rows. Don’t forget Phase Out total. That’s all. You have it hard enough. ;)
Eldar Players:
DON’T ALWAYS BE AGGRESSIVE!! If you outrange the foe, then move back. If you can’t go back, go sideways. If you can get cover, go that way. Just because you CAN move and shoot doesn’t mean a thing. If you can’t get to the target, go around. Don’t fly into his face when you haven’t enough left when it all goes tits up. If you can’t get the kill, then don’t try - do something else. NEVER go Flat Out, ‘just because’.
Nid Players:
If Gaunts have WoN, they can be bunched up safely. It’ll save you time next Dex, when you’re paying 40 points for ten of them…at least until you get those 120 of your 10 point WoN Hormagaunts painted.
IG Players:
Haven’t seen enough of you being stoopid to really criticise like SM, DE etc. That said, Don’t use Missile Launchers! Don’t use Ogyrns! Don’t use Rough Riders! Vendettas ARE your best anti-Tank! Sentinels aren’t even close to worth it!
SM Players 2:
Sniper Scouts are SHIT. Really, really, awful. Take Telion, or don’t bother. Fluff is never an excuse, and, anyway - he goes out on loan every Xmas, like some sort of 41st Millennium David Beckham. Anyway, you think NO OTHER CHAPTER has an EXPERIENCED Scout Sergeant? You thin they’re all chumps? Lern2Imagination.
Okay, I feel better now.
FYI, so you don’t think I’m being unfairly critical here - the arrogant Wolf Lord? That one was me. Even if 5 Devastators actually killing a Lone Wolf before he gets to strike is unlucky enough to Double Facepalm.
12 comments:
Chaos players: Same thing applies with sending a lone lash prince vs an army. He may be gifted by the gods but those lascannons and meltas are about to make him meet those gods.
Forget about non-cult troops and thousand sons. Both are pretty poor troop choices and should wait until someone can make a better codex.
Nids: Use the next 4 months to get another army painted/started (yeah thats coming from me lol). Then get ready to kick some ass with the new dex...
Guard players:
Motherfucker stop using naked infantry squads!
But I can use FRFSRF...
Fuck you!
All good additions. :)
Guard:
Also leave Stormtroopers alone until you've really gotten all your other bases covered. Deep-striking 5 guys with 2 meltaguns is not actually a way to kill tanks.
Don't use heavy bolters, Guard.
Put heavy flamers on your hull by default, Guard.
Eldar:
Skip the fast attack section beyond maybe, maybe the Vyper.
Mech Up. Seriously. It's the strength of the codex, and how do you expect to actually deliver ANY of your specialist troops, OR bring a decent rate of fire of weapons to the game? Unless you're a Ranger/Pathfinder or a jetbike, GET YOUR ASS IN A TANK.
Holofield = Win on the Falcon. The bloody Fire Prism should be out of range if at all possible, in lieu of being shot at.
Chaos
I'm with theHod. Forget about half your codex. You don't really have a Fast Attack section, your Elites are 'eh', but you have a decent core of Fearless troops. USE THAT.
Chaos players should also learn that a weapon that cuts you 1/6 of the time on an expensive character is NOT good. The closest one to being acceptable is the Nurgle one sincei t's like lightning claws against wimpy folks, but it'll STILL hurt you at the worst times.
Better idea? His name is Kha-BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! -rne.
Dark Eldar players: dont use the fast attack slot period.
For all Tau players: Ion Cannons are a No-No for Hammerheads.
Dark Angels:
Why the fuck are you still using this army?
I ask myself that every day...
@Chumbalaya
I would do DA so when I win a tourney, they cant cry cheese. That and I would like to have Termies as troops so I dont have to play a horde army that day.
Besides if people lose to DA, that makes the win so much sweeter.
@Chumbalaya
Naked Infantry Squads are good to put in a vendetta/valkyrie to make them scoring. ;P
@Hod: I'm using hyperbole when I refer to the DA book, I still play DW and doublewing out of it because I'm a sucker for punishment/I love the army. It just drives me nuts after a while.
@Josh: When you pick up a platoon you've already got a PCS in the bargain, you can just use that for cheaper + more special weapons. Same goes for SWS. Infantry squads live and die by their guns (or die by their commissars)
That is true Chumbalaya but if you are looking for a cheep way to make those skimmers scoring then 2 infantry squads and a platoon command squads in chimera (so he can give orders) is a good way to go. If at the end of the list building and points are left over then you can put some special weapons on those squads.
Necron players who think C'Tan and Monoliths rule - they don't. Easily avoided and can be taken down with force. Do not bring Necron assault units, because they cannot assault.
Imperial Guard players Ogryns are not cool, nor are Storm Troopers nor are command squads geared for close combat. Forget Penal legion also.
Space Marine players drop pods aren't the bomb (no pun intented) one trick and aggressive start. Those units in the pod get bummed your in trouble, no divide and conquer tactics just conquer. No mobility once you're on the board.
Ork players Lootas and Nobz are the only elites you need. Forget the rest o'crap.
Eldar players Avatars aren't the bomb. Wraithlords can fail. Eldar on foot aren't mean.
Chaos Marines majority of your codex unfortunately :(
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