Wednesday, 30 September 2009

TKE’s What You’re Doing Wrong There

Being a Rant of Sorts, and a Treatise on how you
can improve your game, in several easy steps.

Dark Eldar Players:

‘Uber’ - Retinues. Drazhar costs like 3 Incubi. He has 3 Attacks. THREE, For Fuck’s Sake.
‘Ablative Wound’ Warriors. 8 ponits. No fucking way that is not shit. Shitty stats, shitty gun, inability to do anything in CC…yeah, shit. Srsly, L2P. If a unit costs 300+ points - It better be fucking AwesomeSauce. Archon + Filler is NOT that good.

Night Shields - You are made of PAPER. Most common Anti-Tank in 4th? Assault Cannon/Plasma Gun/Lascannon. You negate two of these at 18” away. 18 measly inches away, and you’re safe. In 5th - Meltagun/Multi-Melta/Autocannon. Again you neuter two of these options. HOW CAN YOU NOT LEARN?!!!!!

Raider Squads - OMFG, put them in their fucking Raider, you spas.

SM Players:

Yes, Devastators will kill most things they shoot. However, MOST enemy armies will be able to SHOOT BACK. T4, 3+ Save =/= Invincible, or even tough. Paying 200+ points for a one-shot weapon with ZERo mobility, unable to Score, taking a Dakka Pred/Vindicator/LRC slot? Not good.

Bike Captains in Bike Squads. Bike Squads are stand-off units, using a combination of mobility (to avoid retribution) and T5 (to shrug off Lasguns etc) - flying into the teeth of the enemy army when one, ONE model can stand up in CC = Stoopid.

Drop Podding SAM Terminators. Really? Lern2Readz.

Committing a squad alone - YES, you are genetically engineered Super-soldiers. BUT, as anyone with any Tactical nous, a basic understanding of mathematics, or any experience with Halo on Legendary difficulty, will tell you, 1unit, however good =/= enemy army. You need back-up in a straight-out fight, simple as that. This is ESPECIALLY true of Assault Squads.

Don’t Outflank with a Storm. Srsly. L2P.

Space Wolf Players:

Lone Wolves aren’t invincible, idiot. Don’t be so goddamn cocky.

Rune Priest + no Invul Save + no unit to take wounds + enemy Vindicator = idiotic move. Being better than the opponent is no excuse for failing at Model Placement re Threat Observation 101.

Necron Players:

Buy more Immortals. Deploy in staggered Rows. Don’t forget Phase Out total. That’s all. You have it hard enough. ;)

Eldar Players:

DON’T ALWAYS BE AGGRESSIVE!! If you outrange the foe, then move back. If you can’t go back, go sideways. If you can get cover, go that way. Just because you CAN move and shoot doesn’t mean a thing. If you can’t get to the target, go around. Don’t fly into his face when you haven’t enough left when it all goes tits up. If you can’t get the kill, then don’t try - do something else. NEVER go Flat Out, ‘just because’.

Nid Players:

If Gaunts have WoN, they can be bunched up safely. It’ll save you time next Dex, when you’re paying 40 points for ten of them…at least until you get those 120 of your 10 point WoN Hormagaunts painted.

IG Players:

Haven’t seen enough of you being stoopid to really criticise like SM, DE etc. That said, Don’t use Missile Launchers! Don’t use Ogyrns! Don’t use Rough Riders! Vendettas ARE your best anti-Tank! Sentinels aren’t even close to worth it!

SM Players 2:

Sniper Scouts are SHIT. Really, really, awful. Take Telion, or don’t bother. Fluff is never an excuse, and, anyway - he goes out on loan every Xmas, like some sort of 41st Millennium David Beckham. Anyway, you think NO OTHER CHAPTER has an EXPERIENCED Scout Sergeant? You thin they’re all chumps? Lern2Imagination.

Okay, I feel better now.

FYI, so you don’t think I’m being unfairly critical here - the arrogant Wolf Lord? That one was me. Even if 5 Devastators actually killing a Lone Wolf before he gets to strike is unlucky enough to Double Facepalm.

Post a Comment


Primarily, a blog to discuss the Games Workshop system Warhammer 40k, though not exclusively so. All GW IP used without permission, no challenge intended.

Pretty much everything here is my opinion. If you don't like my opinion, you are welcomed to say so. If you don't like me, but like my opinion, feel free to say so. If you don't like me or my opinion, I don't need to hear it. Why even visit?